Face Fracture

what better way to introduce myself than to recount a story of my inherent clumsiness...

i honestly never used to consider myself a klutz. i was athletic and coordinated - far from clumsy. in recent years however, i have become increasingly aware of my inability to steer clear of things like table corners, chair arms, walls, sharp edges, and now my most recent foe...an ottoman. luckily a well cushioned and soft ottoman in this case or else i really might have fractured my entire face as i passed out face first right on to it. and no, i wasn't drunk. here's what happened:

my lovely boyfriend (from now on referred to affectionately as "bear") decided that he wanted to lift me up by my hands. it's that thing where you straighten your arms out and the other person puts your hands in his and lifts you straight up...you probably have no clue what i'm talking about but anyway... so as he was doing this i could feel a muscle in my neck tighten up considerably. i made him put me down as i started owing...he just laughed at me thinking i was being my typical melodramatic self. but then i started to feel realllly lightheaded. so i told him that and he just continued to laugh. the last thing i remember is yelling at him not to laugh at me....

the next thing i know i hear someone moaning (i think that it was me but bear claims not to have heard anything). everything around me looked fuzzy and i felt extremely disoriented. i looked around to try to figure out where i was and realized that i was on the floor of our guest bedroom (where we're currently holed up since the TV in our living room is broken). then bear's head appears looking down at me and i hear him say "no no no! don't move - just stay there!" he's got his phone in his hand and as he explains to his dad what happens, i find out that i apparently fainted. it was the most unnerving feeling coming back to and having no clue where i was or why i was there. the strangest thing was though that i kept thinking to myself "my nose really hurts!"

when bear got off the phone with his dad (a doctor and our resource for all things medical) having learned that i should be fine i told him that my nose felt funny. he kind of laughed and proceeded to tell me that was probably due to the fact that i had taken a nose dive straight into the ottoman. his words were "if you were someone that weighed about 100 pounds more you probably would have broken your face." lovely!

he slowly lifted me up and i spent the rest of the night "recovering" by laying around watching TV (not an usual occurence). today all that remains of my little incident is an extremely tender nose (and perhaps a small lasting bump on the bridge), but i'm pretty sure it's not broken...